Man do I struggle with yearning and longing for Him lately! I don't quite understand how this happens, but it DOES. I have prayed in the past, and this was also prayed over me when I was baptized, that outside of His presence I would be miserable.
Praise the Lord because it is SO true. When I do not purposefully enter into time with Him, and have constant communion with Him throughout the day, I am a MESS. The "funny" thing is, when this is happening, I never seem to realize it as being the reason I'm feeling so down!
Take yesterday for example:
I got up kind of late, took Brian his lunch, drove around aimlessly for awhile (with hopes of finding some random ice cream shop along the way--which I did, but it was :( clooosed!) Then I just came home feeling very down as I hadn't even showered yet, it was raining and I just plain didn't have any drive in me to do anything. So.. I sat on my butt and surfed the web for awhile. A long while. Bored and sad, I started to think maybe my hormones were to blame for my sluggishness and not caring about anything type of mood. I was miserable. DUH. Helloo?!? Anybody home? Of course you're miserable- you ASKED to be miserable outside of Him.. duurrrr da duurrrr!
At this point I realized it was 5:15, and my lovely sister in law was coming over between 5:30-5:45 for a haircut. SO I hurried and got a shower, and cut her hair. She paid me with a new toaster since mine got infested with ants and I threw it away earlier this week. :) Then I made some dinner for me and the hubbsy. The rest of the evening I made it a point to immerse myself in prayer as we went about our evening. WHAT a difference. Sheesh. If you are going to pray this prayer of being miserable outside of his presence.. mean what you say, and realize when you are miserable that this is most likely the reason why! It is meant to help keep your eyes focused on Him and to find joy in Him before anything else. I tried cheering myself up with the fact that there's a beautiful baby growing inside of me-- but without the joy of the Lord's presence, even the miracle of this little baby was not enough to be my joy. Granted, it made me smile, but that deep inner joy was not even stirred. The things you have to be thankful for- would not be there without Him. Plain and simple "ALL good things come from God." The joy that comes with them is included in that ;)

TODAY.. I woke up and made some muffins and lunch for my dear, sent him on his way, made some tea for me and baby snuggled up on the couch and spent some REAL time with the Lord. Ahhh.. what a difference! I would be so depressed without him in my daily life!
So..
I turned on some "Shane and Shane" on Pandora, and the song Yearn came on. I'll put it on the music player so you can hear it :)
The lyrics and scripture references that I found on shanebweb.com are here, as well.
PS- I promise I'll upload the pics.. It is on my list of things to do-- that list is large today since I was such a bummm yesterday! Sorry :P

yearn

by shane barnard

holy design
this place in time
that i might seek and find my God
my God

Lord i want to yearn for You
i want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord i want to yearn

Your joy is mine
yet why am i fine
with all my singing and bringing grain
in light of Him

oh You give life and breath
through Him You give all things
in Him we live and move
that's why i sing

This next passage is spoken through Paul in Athens while describing the one true God to the Athenians and some foreigners, as they had been serving what they called "an unknown God" as inscribed in the altar they had created; Acts 17:25-28:

"And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'"

Hebrews 12:28-29:
"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe for our "God is a consuming fire.""
(vs. 29 is also referenced in Deuteronomy 4:24)

This post is dedicated to Ms. Macayla Marie Kellhofer, my lovely little niece whom is turning 5 for the second time today. (I told her that she must turn 5 three times before she's allowed to be 6 ;)
She is growing way too fast for my liking! But me oh my am I proud of her :)









Happy Birthday, goober :)

I know I promised pictures of the new place.. but I haven't gotten that far yet!
So.. here's the most recent "family" pic at the park down the road from where we live. Minus the goofy half-blinking look on my face, I really like how it turned out :)

spring...

(photo from Veer.com)

Revelation 21 (New International Version)

The New Jerusalem

¹Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ²I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

⁵He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."

With Spring fresh on my mind, as I read this passage I couldn't help but think about not only the amazement of the second coming and how glorious that will be, but also how much it will feel like the most beautiful spring after the longest, coldest winter. Life now is full of death and pain. Many of us think that overall life isn't all that bad- as long as you have the basic needs of food, shelter, clothing and someone to love. But those we love can choose to betray us or let us down. Those we love can pass away. There is love in this world, and there is also hate and we hate to say goodbye to those we love. There's a reason for that. We all desire to never have to say goodbye, because it was never intended for us to be separated from those we love forever.
I cannot count the times I've heard the phrase, "Where was God?" Whether it be after the loss of a loved one, after a terrifying disaster like 9/11.. after the hurricanes and earthquakes that have devastated so many. Where was God? He was reaching out to people so that when disaster strikes, when death comes, life and LOVE stands on the other side with open arms. He was there in the darkness to comfort us and lead us to His light. He looked death square in the face on that cross and through his actions said there was no place for it anymore. Him rising again shows that DEATH could not hold him back. He is enough.


The next post will be full of new pictures..
The new apartment, the growing bump, and other spring things, so check back soon :)

I haven't posted for awhile. SO I suppose it is time to..
every time I think about posting something lately I just think I don't really have anything to post. But since I haven't tried just typing and seeing what happens, I guess that's what I'll do!

My belly has officially popped, and it is just a matter of time before my belly button joins in on the popping action.

Question! Do you think it is "unclassy" or "unprofessional" if you can see a pregnant lady's belly button poking out through her shirt? I mean.. I'm going to be extra large and extra pokey during the summer months, so wearing thicker clothes is out of the picture. I'm kind of wondering if they make.. like.. belly button pads to give it a smoother look? LOL the things I think about these days...

Other things on my mind...
I really like cutting hair, and have been doing so more often :) It's nice to be getting into it again. Now to just get my license back so I can be legit!
(My license expired after I came back from a year in Minnesota when I could not find my username and password needed to renew it.. and so now I have to retest 3 hours away from where I live.) :P Maybe after baby sometime? The test is LONG and there is only one restroom break.. sooo it will HAVE to be after baby!

In 9 days we will be hearing the heartbeat for the first time :) We have seen it beating on the ultrasound, but we have not actually HEARD it. So that will be fun. THEN our next appointment will reveal the biggest mystery of all :) Girl or Boy?! This will be fun also!
I find it kind of humorous that when people ask me if we are going to "find out" and I tell them we are.. they say, "You don't want it to be a surprise?"
I think it's going to be a surprise whether we find out now or later- I'll be surprised. It's almost like saying if you find out ahead of time, it's like choosing the sex and taking the surprise out of it.. buuut it is definitely going to be surprising either way :)
Just another thing I think about.. haha.

I've always said that I would not learn to knit until I was pregnant. I think it was because it was a good excuse to not have to learn any more crafts that my mom and sisters loved to do so much! So then, being pregnant.. I had no excuse anymore. Then my dear, wise mother reminded me that knitting takes a looong time to actually make anything, let alone a blanket and can be frustrating if you want real results without spending hours at a time on it. I was also kindly reminded that I barely have the patience to put together a puzzle that has more than 100 pieces. She was right. So she taught be to crochet instead. I really like it.. for a little while anyway. It usually lasts for a good half hour, so I'd say I like it more than most crafts.
Then again, I often think it will end up being our baby's first birthday present ;)